I'm Fffrrreeeee!!!

I have always loved Disney movies. It's a softer way of teaching about the good and evil of the world. That the good always wins in the end. Well this ending clip of Aladdin has special meaning to me now. Well sort of. I used this clip, or one very similar to this one to announce to my friends and family here in Oregon that I was free. Free of what they didn't know. I couldn't tell them at the time until I got the ok from President Brady. On May 9th I got the best letter I have ever received....EVER!! I got my letter from the first presidency of the church declaring that as of May 7th I was no longer sealed to Daniel. I am finally free from a man who tore me down everyday of my life with him. My family still does not know what happened behind closed doors with Daniel and I and maybe they never will. If they ever knew what really happened in my marriage they would definitely think twice before ever letting him see his boys again.

It is hard at times to think about the reality of the past. My choice of Daniel was a terrible one. It cost me greatly. It cost me my boys. My family still praises Daniel for staying with me after I got sick and we chose to give up the boys. Little did/do the realize the complete selfishness that was made in that decision. He didn't want to be a father. Didn't want the responsibilities, yet my family thought I was the reason why...Sigh! Daniel could control me, do whatever he wanted with me. With the boys he lost his temper frequently. I am so grateful that they do not have Daniel as their father roll model. Statistics show that if you come from an abusive family that you are more likely to be abusive yourself. Well in Daniel's case he became one of the statistics. My family may never know the struggles that I dealt with in those 7 long years of marriage. It's a time in my life that I'm ashamed of.

Thankfully my Heavenly Father gave me the courage, strength, and the ok to get away from that unhealthy atmosphere. It was just over two years ago that I packed up my things and left Daniel. It was a very scary time in my life. Everyone around me wanted me to try and make things work out. I knew that I had made the right decision for me. I am so grateful that I stuck to my guns and filed for that divorce. I  remember the day I got my divorce papers in the mail. The state had set me free from this awful experience. I was grateful and continued to start to move on.

This past week in getting the letter from the first presidency with all their signatures on it was a healing experience for me. As I read the letter I fell to my knees in gratitude. It was a humbling experience and even though I knew I had made the right decision in leaving Daniel and moving on with my life and planning my wedding with Jake it was so beautiful to see those signatures. It was like another witness for me that the Lord was pleased with my decision then and He is pleased with my decision now. So as of May 7th I have been a free woman. Even in the eternal perspective of things. Now I knew that Daniel at least at this point in his life would not be in the celestial kingdom, he doesn't have a current temple recommend. I wish I could explain to you the relief in knowing that my choice back then my huge mistake....that I will not be stuck to that decision for the eternities. That the Lord has given me a second chance and that I can now be sealed to Jake for time and all eternity in the walls of the Lords house in June.

I am a freeeee lady! Well at least for a month, but even then I will still be free. I will just have someone to share my freedom with. I will actually be married to someone who truly wants the same things that I want. That will uplift me as I uplift him. " I chose you!! I chose you" 'Jake'!

Feeling Old Yet!

Yesterday was a day I have been dreading to come for over a year now. I turned the big 3-0!!! Ahhh! I'm so old! I think I feel even older now that I'm with someone that is so much younger than I am. Jake just turned 24 this past February. Some funny facts with our age differences.

I was baptized when Jake was 3 yrs. old.

Jake was baptized at the time I was first wearing a training bra.

When I went on my first date Jake was still in 6th grade.

When I graduated High School Jake just started the Young Men's Program.

When Jake turned 16 I just had my first child.

When Jake graduated High School I was going to college for a second time.

So...that was supposed to cheer me up and make me laugh....well maybe it will in the future. Maybe.

THE COLOR RUN - The Happiest 5k on the Planet

The goal is to be able to walk/run this 5k in September in Portland with Jake. Even after feeling the pain this past week after walking in the March of Dimes this past weekend. I still want to do this. It maybe just because I can be like a little kid again and get as dirty as possible. It's a little spendy but I'm hoping Jake will register for it for my birthday. I might have to have him actually read this post to get how badly I want to do this....or maybe I'll just tell him myself. (It's cheaper if you register now hun!)

I get to be a June-Bride! June 9th here I come!

The Incredible Nie Nie

OMGosh!! I splurged with my tax return and purchased an early birthday present for myself. I had heard of Stephanie's story before. I even followed her blog awhile back before my old blog froze on me... unfortunately I forgot all about her blog and so I hadn't heard about her story since. Amazingly, but not a total surprise she wrote about her experiences as a mother and her trials in life. I learned of this only a week or so ago when it first came out. One of my cousins is an avid follower of Nie Nie's blog for awhile now. She informed me through one of her post that this book had come out. I was thrilled to hear it and ordered one online that very week. I got the book a couple of days ago and I found myself enthralled in her story. Though I remembered (amazingly enough) some of the details before. 

This Stephanie Nielson is a inspiration to woman everywhere whether you are LDS and trying to be a mother or a woman going to school and working towards her own career. She tells about the deep disappear she felt in having her life torn upside down from an awful plane crash. Her body being 80% burned her chance of living incredibly slim. She chose to live, and with time she began to heal and gain strength. Her trials are real her story is real. I found hope and strength in her story. And I greater determination to be grateful for all the little things in life. She was able to find beauty in herself even though most of her body was scarred and discolored. It's amazing! What an incredible woman! I hope one day I will have her courage and strength.

Pinterest Experiment #1

So it has been a month or so now that I've been following pinterest. Each time I get on I feel a my lack of creative juices wanting to grow. There are so many cute and fabulous ideas and I'm always at amazed at what people come up with. I almost always close pinterest with a greater desire to improve my life. Whether it is exercise, home decor, having a better positive out look in life, or just simply trying to be more creative. Well I finally found something that would be a challenge for me, cheap enough that I could buy the products without being too upset if I couldn't get it right, and still cute and something that I could be proud of accomplishing.

Well the day finally came that I felt motivated enough to get all the products from a small Jo Ann's in McMinnville. Once I brought the materials home I admit I was too scared for while for fear I would fail to even pull the products out of plastic bag they were placed in.

Eventually after sitting in the plastic bag I got up the nerve to try my new adventure of being a creative woman. Once I pulled everything out and pulled up the wed page that gave step to step instructions. It took me a few hours and though I know if or when I make more necklaces I will try a do things a little bit differently. I am quite proud of my creation, if I do say so myself. I wore it all day. And was like a little child showing her parents a drawing I had drawn at school that day. I showed Jake what I had created. He was kind and responded, though I know he could care less about the necklace. (His sisters and mother are known for their amazing craftiness. Which is probably part of the reason I was so distressed in trying to improve my lack of craftiness in the first place. LOL.) Any who I know it's not much, but I'm proud of it and can't wait to wear it to church this Sunday.

My Motivational Shoes!

FINALLY!! The day has come that I now have some decent walking/running shoes. I have been wanting and needing some new shoes for over a year now. I've had multiple chances to get them actually. I was given birthday money last year and then also Christmas money as well, but because of lack of a decent paying job that money always went to bills.                                                                                                                   Well after a couple of trips to different stores in hopes for a good pair of shoes for a good price yesterday Jake (my love, my Hercules) found me these adorable pair of shoes. They are perfect and I couldn't believe my luck that they were on sale. I plan to go walking later today hoping that the sun will shine long enough to enjoy the moment. Even if the sun doesn't decide to shine today I'm determined to venture out in my new shoes and work and getting better.                                               My back has had its up's but mostly it seems to be a LOT of down's. I try to pace myself and find that I'm probably the most inpatient person there ever was. Hopefully having these better supportive shoes and not having my feet rubbed raw will help in my healing process. My goal by the end of the month is to at least walk a 5k for the March of Dimes on the 28th with my future family. :)